My two cents worth :)

I'm a good listener and a good observer. Standing in line to order food/drinks and or even when in the lift. For a lecturer, observation is a superpower. You can always establish patterns and draw conclusions based on a students behaviour and learning style. So, i heard a few students in the lift this morning talking in English, (why specify the language ? Let me explain, if you're an Indian and there are other people in the lift, you would use your mother tongue to speak because you don't want them to understand...but if you speak in a global language, you want to be heard) looking extremely confident and expressing themselves to some other boys...My office is at the 20th floor and so i had a long way up listening to their non-stop jabber so very early in the morning when the lift stops at practically every floor.. I am not going to explain what they spoke of...but i will let my writing drive your imagination to what they were prating about.

Sex is what you make of it. It can be love and pleasure or aggression and power play or barter and business……or just a pulsating source of entertainment. In an era where success is the only language understood, the credentials between class and crass seem steadily dwindling……Since I’m a Hindu, I can safely say that we Hindu’s have always taken pride in having been mature about sex and its connotations, right from the days of the Kamasutra. Take for example, temples in India, such as the Meenakshi temple in Madurai; joyfully celebrates the union of Meenakshi and her consort Sundareshwara.

Vatsyayana's classic work “Kamasutra” (Aphorisms of love) written somewhere between the 1st and 6th centuries includes the three pillars of the Hindu religion “Dharma,” “Artha” and “Kama” representing religious duty, worldly welfare and sensual aspects of life respectively. The main theme here appears to be the expression of Indian attitude toward sex as a central and natural component of Indian psyche and life. But what happened along the way is only sex remains when one discusses 'Kamasutra'... the non sexual aspect of Kamasutra got lost in translation and interpretation.

The definition of sexuality has been evolving along with our understanding of it. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviors, practices, roles and relationships.Yet the mindset of the ‘educated’ lot demands the Original Sin of temptation be kept wrapped in the confines of one’s mind. The Wheel though, is constantly turning and by a quirk of time, temptation and human desires have snapped out of the social cages and are smeared……..

Picture if you will, renowned sage Vishwamitra at his meditative best. In walks Menaka who uses all her oomph to temp Vishwamitra and break his concentration….and Voila!! She succeeds. Seduction is the game these days………Everyone seems to have a fixation for seducing damsels. Skin showing has stretched across the globe and being bold has become the mantra of girls everywhere. I’m not saying there is anything wrong in skin showing; as long as girls have their own notions, on where to draw the line. Being bold, is not coming out and dressing up freely or voicing out your opinion without considering where you're at and who you're speaking to. Being bold has got a lot to do with understanding our strengths and weakness, being ready to accept the consequences if things don’t work out. Therefore being bold for me is a step forward to enhance confidence, self-esteem and thus leadership as a whole. 

Sex is being sold everywhere, cheap sex is! Sex is being sold in the movies, although movies like this have a decent run, one cannot refute the fact that sex is only attention grabbing but it can’t really bring in the audience….. sex does not sell. Watching a movie has always been a family affair in our country with multiplexes and malls coming up at every one furlong and each inviting the middle-class to a ‘complete family experience’, sex can only, at best get a particular kind of audience to the theaters.

Many people these days just want to get their 5 minutes to fame. And many other vivacious girls have tried their hands at ‘quickie’ success, each one attempting to get noticed. The drastic measures seem to be a prerequisite. But quick success invariably turns into double-edged sword, where the fear of losing it all constantly eats away at the feeling of exuberance. Women are the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform. Women don’t plead for appreciation, they ask for respect. Today’s world demands independent and fearless women who can fight against those society rules for their own freedom and independence.

Sensuality, lets face it, is a thin border away from sleaze. Sex will predominantly remain on our minds as an accentuating agent for any industry or organization. The mantra to attain success is more often than not, lost in the labyrinth of heat and lust. All are seeking the formula; little do they know that it’s the surplus that is detested; sex included!! Most of the “liberated” Indian women I've seen to date, are actually exactly the opposite — they parrot the west entirely in their thinking, mannerisms, and outlook.

I am curious how “liberated women” became liberated by basically becoming clones or proxies for foreign ideologies. Embrace your ethnicity, your uniqueness and embrace your sexual divinity. Don't let anything tarnish that. What's utmost important is the way that you look at yourself now and how you would like to be looked upon at when you are long gone :)

Women Empowerment, GST and what not :)

Well, such a huge buzz on everything lately... to start with, My sincere condolences to a nation who lost it's Father... One whom i look up to and whose mentality i admire. 

“I am often accused of interfering in the private lives of citizens. Yes, if I did not, had I not done that, we wouldn't be here today. And I say without the slightest remorse, that we wouldn't be here, we would not have made economic progress, if we had not intervened on very personal matters – who your neighbour is, how you live, the noise you make, how you spit, or what language you use. We decide what is right. Never mind what the people think.” 

LKY

My heart goes out to those who lost their loved ones on board Lufthansa airlines and all these airline mishaps should stop....It seems like some mass killing only differently. Anyways, all that and then we have our very own GST issues... I do not have much to say because i think this gives us all a chance to study and research on what this GST is all about and knowing your rights is very very essential. Reading and searching opens up your minds to issues that are bigger and underlying this new implementation. 

All i can say is, life must go on....as with everything that we have crossed paths with... Maths and Science in English or Malay....? Debate debate debate... MAS...where did MH370 go? Debate debate debate...theories theories...not found? MIA.... one year gone and we have all moved on... Oil Price increase/decrease....debate debate debate....and move on... So even now, all we need to do is move on and learn the art of survival... Just do what you need to do to survive. Save more, spend on important things and live within your means. Do anything and everything to upgrade yourselves to a place in life where no governmental decisions will affect you or your loved ones. Live simple, be humble.

Next is the video that went viral... MyChoice by Vogue and Deepika Padukone.... I loved the aesthetic value of the video... It was beautiful to look at but i have been waiting for an ambush by fellow netizens and it has happened... For every action, there would be an equal and opposite reaction. More so for this video of "MyChoice". I have always advocated women's rights and how they should be allowed to be themselves and they should not be subjected to any ridicule. In other words, a woman should be allowed as much freedom to be herself and embrace her individuality. But i was also very quick to understand that men and women are never equal... that is just the way God created this beautiful planet we live on. We need balance and hence men and women, Yin and Yang.

Two very different beings but the same species, and the basic rights to living a decent and happy life should be gender discrimination free. The problem with the video is that, the one advocating or giving voice is someone who is well educated and to whom many of the basic rights can be bought with the money and the influence that they have. The one advocating has everything she needs and is perfect. Just having a few commoners face in the video doesn't really show that we understand the rights that 80% of the women are seeking for. We didn't ask to sleep with other men or to be naked.. We definitely didn't ask for the rights to have pre-maritial sex .. It is an individual choice i must say and things like that happen but i guess what we are asking for or saying is that no one should be judged, male or female alike. It is their choice. We are in no position to comment let alone call names. Virginity is subjected to male and female. 

Seriously, with all the basic rights that hundreds of millions of women in India and on the streets of some village don't have, such as the rights to education, the rights to choose their education path, the right to choose their marriage partner (let alone sleep with another men), rights to work or be employed..... This video should have not spoken about the rights to come home whenever you want when you are married....and the right to commit adultery? It is not only insane but nonsensical and insulting to some women.

That video definitely has a strong message but it should have been presented in a way that it didn't have to suppress the men or undermine them. Just like we say we have a choice, we should never forget that men have their choices too. Choices are independent of gender. This is my understanding and that video can be comprehended any other way. We should stop pitting women against men in this fight for some basic rights. We are all wise and we all should take responsibility of the choices we make. That is proper. When we talk about freedom and liberty to all our thoughts and actions, we should always remember to be bound by our values and culture. 

Wo/MEN we should all embrace ourselves and be who we want to be. Being dark skinned or fair, a size zero or size fifteen... or men who wear your shabby pants out to the airport/mall/practically everywhere.....guys who listen to their mom....no one should be judged. It is counterproductive if no one sits and listens to one another and their choices. You have a choice to take it or leave it....so why fret. It all starts with listening and understanding. Liberty and freedom of expression and freedom of choice is equal for everyone and is independent of gender. Let us respect each others choices and find ways to be happy, healthy and wealthy!!

The video that stirred much buzz : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtPv7IEhWRA

The outcome: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnBdxu0qABI

Enjoy and have a great weekend!!

Girl Talk

I was waiting for Esha at Starbucks while reading "Lullabies" by Lang L….. having hot chocolate with whipped cream…..So,when she finally enters….."i’ll never be that desperate!"….I check myself hastily for signs of depravity. She notices my discomfort and clears the air…..she was only referring to the story of women buying men for sex……."buying men for sex sounds so revolting!"…. "Just thinking about it gives me the creeps"….she mutters.

It might shock her sentiments,but the fact is that men have been buying sex for centuries. So,what’s wrong with desperate housewives having a little fun on the side? Yet,the feminist in me flares up…."just because men have been doing it for ages doesn't mean it is a good example to follow….Buying sex is demeaning because it means you have given up on relationships…..and on life…." Esha doesn't take too kindly either to the idea that some people might not want to be saddled with the excess baggage that comes with every relationships……" you can’t only hope for all the good things in a relationship,you have to take the rough with the smooth…..and don’t tell me women who hire gigolos don’t suffer from guilt pangs?" Then she asked me….."So,where will sex figure in your relationship…….?"

I say…"I won’t get into a relationship purely to enjoy mindless sex…..,i remark candidly….Sex is important,if you’re married to the person you love……I’m not denying that. But relationship means much more than a casual romp in the hay. It means sharing little things and being faithful. Its about respecting each other’s needs and respecting each other’s space. It means so many things in so many numerous ways…..that i’m hard pressed for words.

Marriages these days have become a stage show and a competition of who outdid who and ..Marriages have also become too complicated. People want to wake up and have the marriage at 4am in the morning (no pun intended) just because it is the most auspicious time for the Hindus. I mean like, has it even occurred to you that the union's auspicious time starts when the couple understands, accepts and loves each other...? God is around all the time and all time is a good time if you attract good thoughts....

Then Esha distracted my thoughts and asked me again….give me quick answers for my questions okay?? I said okay….. 

Love is; Great while it last…… 

I lust for; A well cooked grill……. 

Sex can be; Over-rated….. 

When a woman loves a man; She can really behave stupidly………. 

I get turned on by; Any man’s perfume that can send my senses reeling and oh he has to be smart……… 

Holding hands; Can never go out of fashion…….. 

A romantic evening; Would be just being together,doing fun things like watching a movie…..having dinner and then later watching football…..ehehe ehem ehem after that… 

A man’s sex appeal; His intelligence….It’s long -lasting at least……

Phew….I don't know what she asked me all that for…..but after that it was about time we went shopping…..There’s nothing like shopping to lift a girl’s spirit after a tough day anywhere…..Well then…….there are a billion ideas….so many things i would love to write but….you guys just wait okay……I repeat the Robert frost line……"Miles to go before i sleep…… " Okay don't crack up and say i’m so dramatic…….Love ya all……..                                      

Happy New Year

So, i got into the New Year with a realization that this truly is going to be a "New Year"...I am not a person who actually makes resolutions. I make or do something if i can actually pull it off and stick to it. So, resolutions is a strict no no for me. I am not going to tell the world that:

1. I want to lose 10kgs this year.
2. I am going to finish that masters of mine.
3. I am going to own the latest phone, gadget and what not.....

etc..............

On my end, New Year, celebrations and parties are always simple...and with the familia. But i definitely knew what was in store for me this year. I was moving again, back to KL...a new job and a journey towards the completion of my masters. I am moving out of my comfort zone. I know for a fact that if you want to reach the top, if you want to live your greatest life, you have to move out of your comfort zone and face your fears...

I am leaving behind my darling friends and colleagues...I just know that i have been blessed to have these ladies in my life and because of them working has been fun. Love you ladies so much and from the bottom of my heart. I have had the best 2 years of my life in JB and am going to KL a new person. I am leaving beautiful people behind and my most favourite temple...but i know this is what He wants and i trust Him. I believe there is good behind this move.

I keep moving, i keep learning....i am not stagnant and i am glad...However, my year looks pretty apparent. I am going to be working on my thesis everyday after work...I have to subject myself to that in order to complete my thesis on time. I have embraced the change and i am mentally prepared. These much i know and i anticipate but of course life offers us much more than just that. It is always full of surprises and i am also ready for it. Bring it on!!!

I know i am stepping into the new year with the same if not more love for my friends and family...Love is something that i am not willing to let go. I believe anything that you do with love, gives you a 100% satisfaction. It is with this love in my heart that i have earned some of the best friendships and success. 

I liked that i did not have to pretend. I liked that i was being true to myself and that is all that matters. I am carrying this same quality with me to the grave. So this year is just going to be the same....pretty much, because i am still the same. But what is in store for me is a little different. Different is good.

I would like to wish all my friends and family a blessed New Year...filled with love, passion for what you do and confidence in your heart. May you be a blessing to your family and your friends. May this year bless you with abundance.

P/S: It may not exactly be a happy new year for the flood victims but i wish you the best. I have certainly done my part and will continue to contribute. I urge all friends to do the same. Anything small, anything within your budget, and anything significant will do. Let us extend a hand and you know that act is noble. That is all that matters. Love you all.

Cheers

In the Spirit of Deepavali

"I do not understand the work of God 

but i admire  the beauty of His creation.......

I do not necessarily agree with His screenplay

But i admire His passion for writing...

I do not like His fondness for simple twists of fate

But i trust His motivation in story-telling.... 

I do not always comprehend the circumstances that

His characters go through,

But i believe in His direction...

I anticipate His climax because i believe

He always has an underlying message of

Love, Hope and Life ......."

Just thought i would start my blog this time with a thought... It is has been a nagging issue which i couldn't just put it away. So, here goes. I noticed that "we" (Indians) do not wish each other when we meet one another at temple on Deepavali morning. We only wish those we already know and befriend prior to Deepavali... those who are friends and acquaintances. But Deepavali is one such occasion that requires no introduction or bond between two people in order to wish one another. Why do we not wish one another? We are the same kind, we are the same race, we share the same religion....In the house of God, we are family. It is funny how we ignore our own brothers and sisters in the house of God. And you are there to seek blessings? You wish the world for Deepavali on Facebook or Instagram, but in person, you just ignore the person in front of you . That tickles my funny bones. Anyways...Deepavali....

Deepavali to me went through so many faces throughout my life. When i was a child, Deepavali was something we looked forward to. We alternated each year between my dad's side or my mom's side. Wherever we were going, it was sure to be fun. Going back to Ipoh, my hometown was always fun. Being the eldest grandchild and certainly the most naughtiest and talk-a-tive one had lots of perks. Everyone in the family knew me better because i spent 7 years there, growing with them. Mom's side was always, noise, fun, music, food...(loads of it) and visitors. Mom's side was huge. My mom's immediate family was small but her extended family....I don't want to get started. I love it. So many houses to visit, so many hugs, so much love and so much "angpow" and needless to say so much fun. 

Decoration in my uncle's house was massive. All the Deepavali cards would be hung in patterns and shapes. Lights and beautiful "kolams" would fill our porch. My Uncle Muthu and Aunty Kogi were awesome like that. They always kept the tradition alive. Deepavali morning, prayers would be offered and our heads would be oiled. Everything followed the Deepavali rituals. We would then go to temple and come home to a scrumptious meal. When grand dad was alive, it was a different scenario altogether. It was "1 Malaysia". We would have like the whole neighbourhood at our house. My grand dad was a respected Hospital Assistant (HA) and was very good at what he does. He used to treat people from home. Those people became his loyal fans. We would have so many gifts coming in, so many fruits and cakes. We also used to practice giving our friends from other religion cookies and biscuits and our containers would be filled with sugar and returned. I never understood that practice but i loved the gesture. That stuck with me till now. We would have a blast with songs, movies and dancing.

My uncle's house wasn't a huge bungalow, but i loved it. It is where my grandparents lived. Every wall had their touch and every room held its own memories. My grand dad passed away in that very same house and our Deepavali changed forever. Years after he passed on, we still celebrated there, but it was different. We still had everything in tact except my grand dad and visitors. We had friends coming over but still...it was very different. However, the love between close friends and extended family and relatives remained. 

On the other hand, Deepavali at my dad's side was completely different. It would always be a getaway somewhere, a gathering at someone's house or a holiday. All of my dad's brothers and sisters and my cousins would book a bungalow and go celebrate there. We would also go to either one of dad's brother or sister's house or my house to celebrate. It was a different kind of fun. Food was always a galore but if it was in Kelantan, then it would be a beautiful Kelantanese Malay breakfast and a nice Indian lunch. It was different. We would go to the one temple in Tumpat which was just behind where my dad's whole family stayed and grew. We felt like we owned that temple. It was nice. Then we would go home to board games and our own "special" game like "baling selipar"(throw the slippers)....hahaha....sounds so hilarious but yeah. Our parents would start the "Ginrummy" (card game) sessions and go on till early next morning. We kids took care of our entertainment and there was this beautiful bond between us cousins. We used to laugh and make jokes. My dad's elder brother was also the head of events. He would have planned beautiful activities even before we got there. There would be dance performances, Parents versus children Dumb Charade, song continuation games, "Buzz" and so much more. He was so creative and we used to be so competitive. It thought us a lot. It was nice and it was different. 

This all changed when we grew. We still got together but some cousins would not come or... they had their own life, let us put it that way. We grew to have our own set of friends and our own "interesting" lives. We grew apart. My family and i, we were always together. Dad never tolerated being away during important functions. Neither did we ever want to. We loved being around family. With my maternal grand dad's passing, i realised that moments don't come back again. Once they are gone, it is gone forever. With my maternal grandma's passing, it was literally more essential that my mom's immediate family stick together. That is all they had to call family. I cherish being with my aunt and uncles. Sometimes it will only be us and the older people but we enjoyed regardless because in the end we were there because we wanted to be with family. I am so thankful to my dad and mom for instilling that beautiful quality in us. 

My dad's side witnessed two untimely deaths due to cancer. My dad lost his eldest and his youngest sister. That changed almost everything for us. My dad's side was no longer perfect. We all felt it. Everyone suffered silently. Soon, the realisation that everything is temporary probably hit rock bottom for many. Eventually, no gatherings were planned or it brought about very less "participation". Well, i realised that we overgrew the tradition and now everyone has adopted the idea that "everyone has their own life, they are probably busy" and so on.  As my acha always says, family first and nothing is more important than that. So, if they have no time, whenever we are in the area...we make time and visit them. Simple. 

I completely agree. I mean we have friends and yes i agree some friends cross the borders of friendship and become family but lineage and blood relatives....they are so important. Thank God we still have that coming together at my mom's side. I don't ever want to outgrow it. I would love for all my cousins, mom or dad's side to always be together. In the end, we are what matters. We will always be there because blood is always thicker than water and we carry our family names. I do not want my children to not know what family, cousins and relatives mean. What staying together means....what fun means..Some of my fondest memories are of my times spent with family during gatherings.

Deepavali these days are within family. For me, after marriage, it alternates... between my house or my in laws place. I like celebrating at both places. I love my in laws. As traditional as they are, they also know how to enjoy and have fun. The most important thing is, they also value relationships. At least my kids have cousins over at that side and i never want to take that away from them. That is a bonding i enjoyed and made my childhood so rich and colourful. I want to give them that as well. Deepavali for me now is new clothes, morning temple, good food, family get together, family time, family card games, family laughter and reminiscing the good old times. Makes me believe that there is still hope. I can't wait for my sisters to get married and have kids...(Asweni and Devin...faster can or not)... I want the house to be packed with all of us!! 

In the light of Deepavali, let us all spread love and revive old connections.

After all, Deepavali means new hope, new direction and new era. As much as technology eases our life, it also takes the life out of us. Let us teach our children culture and the importance of family. Let us cultivate and bring back old tradition of visiting one another. I do not want our lamp of tradition and culture to die. **Hugs**

Post India :)

It has been such a long time since i wrote anything! I miss writing! And i promised my friends that i would write a blog about my trip. So, we were in India 28/8 to 9/9 and it was a wholesome trip from Cochin to Chennai -Thirupathi and back to Cochin! The whole trip with my family was perfect. That is the only word apt for my description of the trip. The hotels and the travels was awesome. Now Cochin-Kerala...it was soo cool and it was the rainy season. We enjoyed it so much...It was fresh and clean... my kids did not fall sick getting wet in that rain. We felt so comfortable and at home. Not even once realising were probably a thousand miles from home.

 Allapula or Allepey is so beautiful. That in itself is an understatement. The backwaters of Kerala is heavenly. No wonder Kerala is called "God's Own Country". We spent one whole day in the beautiful boat house surrounded by nature. We ate fresh fish and crabs cooked to perfection by our own chef! Such comfort and relaxation. The thousands of boat houses we passed were all different and unique. The people on board were all so friendly and waving. Vinay Thaandi Varuvaya written all over Allepey.... The scene and the beauty :) Breath-taking!

 Next is Thekkady.  A beautiful hilltop area and it was filled with such lush greenery and i was completely immersed with nature. Bajji and hot chaya at a foggy hilltop station.... "heavenly". Spice gardens and tea gardens everywhere with beautiful and clean waterfalls. We walked the streets of Thekkady and took the elephant ride. Watched the Kathakali and Kalari martial arts form... Just spectacular. Then we left for Madurai. A city which looked as brutal and as busy as their spoken accent. Madurai was beautiful. Visited the Madurai Meenakshi Temple. I have never seen anything like it before. It was so huge...each "Gopuram" (monumental tower-entrance of a temple) outdid the other. Who created these beauty? Miracle. And such was the love of Meenakshi who stood there with such poise and beauty. Her "mookuthi"(nose ring) shone through our souls as the "aarathi" was shown. 

Then we left Madurai for Trichy. A state that i was familiar with. The streets of Trichy was so beautiful, highways and roadways were so clean. We visited Sri Rangam and Renganathar. Oh what beauty...each temple holds your heart captive. Each idol...showed themselves off in such pride. They were Majestic. Then it was Uchi Pillayar... beautiful Hilltop...Fort. Amazing view of the whole of Trichy!! And the wind was soo powerful. We also visited the Samayapuram Ambal...i saw her for the second time and she looks ever so beautiful. Amazing Darshan (sight/vision).

After Trichy...it was Chennai. This is where the true presence of God is felt :) I will tell you why. We were in Chennai on the 2/9 and were supposed to drive to Thirupathi on the 3/9 and visit the Lord first thing in the morning of 4/9.  We were tempted to stay longer in Chennai. We told our driver. Please tell the agency that we will prolong our stay at Chennai for one more night and so please inform the hotel. One extra day and so we were going to see Thirupathi on the 5/9. However, suddenly, our driver told us....no problem. You all stay an extra night here. But 4th we leave Chennai and go to Thirumala after checking out on the 4/9. We do the shaving of the head and see the Lord. There was chaos in our tempo. I was like...no i have been there, i know how it is. It will be packed. And then a sudden realisation, and there was complete silence in our tempo. I looked at my driver and said...ok "chalo". Lets just do it your way. I told my dad and mum, "acha, He wants to see us on the 4/9. There is no our way, IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN HIS WAY OR NO WAY. YOU DON'T PLAN. HE PLANS. That realisation itself made me think of His love. There must be a reason why He wants us to be there on the 4/9, a Thursday. 

And we stepped into the Thirumala Hills and i had goose bumps. Tears rolled. I felt the love. Our guide actually said, today, the crowd is going to be massive because the Lord's eyes which is usually closed with the large tilak like "V" was half open and he wouldn't have his usual gold and diamond ornaments on. He would just be bare with garlands and his "vesti". That in itself made me smile in acknowledgement of His blessings. We went with little distraction and we didn't have it difficult at all. We also had the blessing to stand in front of HIM for a good 20 seconds which in HIS language is looooonggg!!! I cried... Such is HIS love. Standing in front of HIM...i felt so small. What is my love compared to HIS? I saw him in awe... in tears...through my blurred vision...HE stood so clear and tall.  Then we came out and i held and traced the walls of my LORD with so much of love. We sat and i absorbed whatever love i could. And gave away everything i had. My kids walked the floors of HIS lotus feet... Yookthana slept in that crowd and when i placed her on the floor, to take blessings at HIS lotus feet, she slept as if she was on a bed of roses which made everyone look in amusement. They chanted "Govinda Govinda". Not only that HE even showed Himself in the little oorvalam that HE was going on. Now, a love so pure...My family and I, must be extremely blessed. 

The next day, we were scheduled for Thiruannamalai. Along the way, we were to stop at Vellore. I missed Lord Shiva. My husband and I loved the Kailasanathar temple in Kancheepuram. We asked our driver if we could pass Kancheepuram and he said it is out of the way. And with a heavy heart we said it's ok...you just follow your route. And again, he turned and said, you asked already, no problem. I will take you, of course there is a risk that the temple will be closed. I said, you drive, HE wants to see us. And our driver, who had been seeing all the miracles smiled knowingly. True to my words, the temple was open and we saw HIM again. I was so pleased and we prayed to our hearts content. The priest actually recognised me and said why don't you go through the passage (tunnel) and that made everyone eligible to do it which was otherwise closed. The priest told me, because of you, everyone is getting this blessings :) I was dumb founded. 

Then we went to Vellore Golden Temple and it was breath-taking at night. What a sight... Amazing. I felt happy for my parents. I was taking them to the most amazing temples and i was so happy! The next day was another miracle. It was Sani Pradosham and we were at Thiruannamalai!! The Lord is truly loving. And we were ushered to the "Moolastanam" or "Grapagraham"...the center where the main idol is!!!!! I am not saying that if you stand further you don't get HIS blessings...You get HIS blessings from wherever you are standing if you call HIM with pure love and devotion. But I'm saying i didn't pay to be in there as most foreigners do. HE sent someone and that man brought us in and he didn't ask money. I felt so loved and that gave me a compulsion to give him some 250rupees which is soooo less. People pay thousands of rupees!! Oh i love God. And my father and mother was so overwhelmed by the love :) They were speechless and my dad instantaneously knew that my Tampoi Muniswara was behind all the blessings that we got throughout the trip. 

Then it was Coimbatore and back to Cochin. We stayed at our "friend uncle's" in laws place and that was on Onam. And we had Kerala food and experienced Kerala that whole day. We left the next day, carrying all those blessings and breath-taking moments in our hearts. We started missing Kerala and India even before we left... That was just a summary of our time there. Words sometimes fail me when the only thing i can do is actually feel those moments. 

The first thing my dad said when he came back was, "tonight at dinner we plan our next trip to India... :) I'm going again."

Such was the love that we felt. All i can say is, God's love is out there for the taking. Love and love truly. Do not expect anything. Trust HIM. Believe HIM. And love HIS creation, love others and help others to love others. That is the true essence of life. It is very simple. Life is beautiful <3 God bless!

Birthdays...

Many asked me, why do i put my picture after each blog... Well, i have always loved to write.... It is my small time dream to write a book. I believe whatever we want, we must first start believing and then visualising it. After every book i read...i see the picture of the author and so i thought after every blog i write, i am also going to put a picture just because i want to visualize my small dream. God has His answer to that dream of mine. So... :)

I just celebrated my birthday 14 days ago... I had many people wish me and shower me with love and blessings... I would love to thank each and everyone for their love, blessings and wishes. Then, there were many who asked "Apparom, yenna special?"....(What is special today?).

Birthdays or any days in the Baskaran's household has always been one where we sit together as a family and celebrate the moment. It's very typical of my mother to bake her home made cake and present it to us because she knows we love her cakes as much as we love her. So, when i explain that my mum cooked and so we ate at home...and she made a cake for me... Many do not understand....I don't blame them. As opposed to going out for a lavish dinner and getting high tech and expensive gifts :) Not that it is wrong, it is just that We as a family have never believed in giving only on special occasions. I just view birthdays very differently...and in recent times...more so.

However, as i grew...each year, i saw a different me....or rather i was introduced to me...in a new way. I started seeing birthdays as the days where i look back to see what i have learnt all these years. At every point of my life...every year...i grew. I understood myself better. I understood the mechanics of life. I knew how i operated. I started observing how other people operated. There were things that i liked. There were some which were not appealing and then there were some which i completely never agreed with. I loved being myself and i realised i didn't like acting and neither did i like other's acting or being someone who they weren't for whatever reasons at all. An incident happened quite recently, and it made my dad very proud i know. He told us at breakfast, a very long and close friend came for Asweni's (my sister) reception at JB...Uncle Thambhu.... and he apparently told my dad, "Bas, your daughter...Shasthrika...she is amazing. Just the same from the last time...nothing has changed her, the way she is...the hyper energetic...always laughing...always ready and open to hug...no changes. Good la ahh..must be like that..."

I rest my case. Eventually, people will only love and respect you for being yourself and not when you are pretending to be someone you are not. People always know. This i always say to everyone out there too...you only get the right partner when you are yourself and you have an identity where people can identify with. Not when you act to be a person you aren't. Being yourself gets you the love of your life, the best friendships, jobs and also respect. Cheers to being unique and yourself. You are special... God made you...remember?

I understood that love, and only love is one of the many answers to all our problems in life. If we love what we did, we didn't have to have Monday blues....If we love ourselves we didn't need to work hard for other people to approve of us.... If we love the environment, it will never be polluted....If we love our neighbours and friends, we would never have misunderstandings and double standards....if we love our studies and school....excelling it wouldn't be a burden but a pleasure :) if we love God...we would end up loving everything that is around us and within us because you realise that everything and everyone is a manifestation of the Divine being Himself...

I believe in love, all kinds of love...and i realised it is harmless and it should be accepted as just that...and given no names and divisions. No gay love, no straight love...no colourful love, no right or wrong love.... There is just one love... L.O.V.E. And i also realised very early on...if you love someone, just throw away all your ego and then and there, pick up the phone...write an e-mail or whatsapp and say you love them. What have you got to lose? What is the worst that can happen? And if it cost you anything at all...it is for the other person to bear because they just lost a genuine love....I wish i could turn back time and tell my grandma and grandpa how much i love and miss them.

I cherish relationships...i respect friendship because i had seen the best kind of relationships formed at Kemaman and from my parents. Why Kemaman? That is the place where i grew up and started to understand things. They were the best friends to friends and they were the best family members to the family. I love and adore my friends. I also realised the value of being honest and not compromising values and beliefs for whatever reasons at all but yet respect and tolerate differences as that too came from the ultimate Himself. My kids, Akshayan and Yookthana who changed my life forever. Akshayan, he showed me how strong i really was. He made me respect other women and realise each and everyone of us are built for so much more. We are born to multi task. After Akshayan, no problem was big enough that i couldn't handle. I saw everything as a possibility. Every problem i knew since then was so small and had a solution. Akshayan, for that priceless gift of strength to overcome and struggle....i owe you and am blessed to have you. My first born :)

Then came Yookthana, to strengthen my believe in bonds and love...Looking at the war at Palestine, i wish they just knew what the value of life is and how beautiful life actually could be...All they need is love. All these war and the most recent MH17... such devastation. What are we paying for and what good is going to come out of all these suffering? I am waiting for my Kalki. It's about time that He came. Dharma is dying. There is just too much of hatred, murder, killings, robbery and the people are all selfish. However, in the midst of all these, it is only wise for all of us to pray and be thankful for the peace that we have, the beautiful people we are blessed with and cherish each day that we have to live because it is quite clear that we do not have any idea of what is to come even in the next minute.

So...till my next blog! Spread the love. Love is a gift, a simple smile is a gift...ask those who yearn for it...ask those who started their day with having to face someone moody. I thank my guard at Educity! He always smiles the brightest smile that makes me soo happy!! Tell all those friends and family how you feel, for tomorrow is just a shadow that may never be there if the sun decides not to show up :)
Adios :) Lotsa love <3

My deepest condolences to the families who have lost their loved ones at Palestine and those on board MH17. I am doing my part silently in ways that i know with whatever i have. So sorry.... really :(

To all my friends, near and far...my colleagues...cousins, uncles and aunties...students, sisters... I love all of you so very much. Even if you don't hear from me often... just know that you are all in my heart.

P/S: Thanks to all who have wished me for my birthday via sms and calls. Thanks to all who have wished me through FB. Love you all. Appreciate all your blessings. xoxo

My Acha... My Strength...

I'm still very tired after my sister's wedding...The panda eyes aren't going away... I was supposed to write a blog about my dad...my acha for father's day and i just had no time. I have so many things to do....Thank God for that. The wedding went well....in case you are wondering... just very exhausted! Never do the actual ritual ceremony in the morning and then the wedding dinner reception at night.... soo tiring! Oh well...it was a joyous occasion and a coming together of two families.

That morning, all the people who attended the wedding... I saw them in a different light. People from as far as Penang and Kemaman.... Took all the trouble to be there on a Sunday. It really meant a lot to us as a family. Considering that some gave plenty of reasons to show inconvenience and hence the probability of them not showing up. Oh whatever.... really. I feel a need ...a special need to thank all those who were there... You know who you are :) And i know all of you came because you respected and loved your friend...your brother.... My dad.... My Acha... Baskaran....

My acha.......hmmm....where do i start? I really have no idea... Acha, is the person whom i owe everything i have and everything i am to....LITERALLY... It is because of him and his teachings that we are the way we are today. If anyone says anything nice about us sisters and about us as a family, it is because of him. As a child, i remember how Acha used to tell us stories of his childhood and how he studied despite of his family situation. I remember how Acha used to tell us that he used to carry his shoes in a plastic bag and walk across the paddy fields just to get to school. Then he would wash his legs and dry them and wear his school shoes and go to class. We or at least i used to think back then that it's the same story every parents tell their kids so that they study hard and don't play around too much.

As i got older...as i grew, i realised i had taken each and every story of his to heart. I respected where he came from, i admired his perseverance, i looked up to his achievements and i felt so proud of his humble beginnings and a need to share his stories till date. A small boy from Kelantan, a smart boy who loved to read and learn. How he went to live in Kota Bharu town with his principal's family because they thought he had so much of potential. How he finished his form 6 and how his brother helped him to fill his University entrance forms and how he got into second year direct in University Malaya. Oh how i love your success story Acha. Until 5 days back when i saw your resume... I thought i was looking at a thesis!! My goodness....I have more stories to tell.

I grew up hearing all that, but i never felt the pressure to fill those shoes. From a very young age you gave us so much freedom to be ourselves. You got a job real quick and from then on...it has only been uphill for you. I took a lot from you as a student. Although my studying style was different when compared. You're an early bird....whereas i'm a nocturnal. You knew that and although amma would shout as to why i wasn't studying, you would support me and say i will study when everyone has slept. You had such deep understanding of us..your kids. You gave us everything...fed us everything.... Your random treats and shopping spree... You never thought us how to splurge but you thought us how to enjoy the little things in life. You also thought us how to save money...20% of any amount of money we receive will go to you. How angry we got sometimes...but when i got married and you gave me the bank book... it looked so brown but i knew it was the 20% you took from us.

Acha, you always say you are not perfect...there are so many things you need to learn....Let me tell you, i don't know anything or anyone as perfect as you. You have shared so many things with me privately...and it shows how very much you think of me....I remember during some teenage problems i had... (I wasn't very easy to handle...sorry), amma told me... "if my husband gets a heart attack, it will be because of you". I know she didn't mean it...she is always emotional when it comes to you.... but i knew something very deep then, that i affected you so much. But how calmly you handled me...my problems....my insecurities. I just love you acha...When i left UTM...such a blow for you and everyone... but you allowed me to... you told me, if your heart isn't there then there is no use of you wasting time. When i had relationship issues, you weren't harsh...you were as gentle as a feather because i remember you told me...i'm fragile ...and that i will grow out of it and i will understand soon....

Then and there acha... I knew, my mission in life was to make you proud. Thanks to amma, who registered me in MSU to do TESL...her forward thinking... (Let me credit her for that here in public....haha) I only wanted to make you proud. I am glad...i did....I am glad with every Dean's list and President's List.... With the first Class degree... when i got pregnant immediately after marriage... I made a promise to myself...however hard it was going to be...i would finish this degree on time. I personally requested for a C-section so that i can be on time for my final...final exams. I did it because i didn't want you to again be let down. I am so proud i did it and graduated on time...despite the fact that i had a child. But then again...you believed in me. You never questioned me... that's the beauty of you Acha... Not many are lucky to have such a friendly...loving father.

Then i became a lecturer....i did so many things in such a short time... Then i wanted to make you more proud...I got myself into UM and till date my Masters is in first class CGPA....i somehow feel the need to redeem myself...not for me Acha...but for you. Only you. I will finish it....I will... soon. Then i made you a grandfather for the second time again...haha. I know how much you adore my kids....i can only imagine how very lucky they are to have such a sentimental and loving grandfather. We as a family are blessed to have you Acha. You have so much going for you...you have so much to scream about...yet you are so silent...so humble and so down to earth. You are so real. So philosophical. I am truly blessed to have you and amma as my parents. I remember i told this once...if the world population increased and it came to a point that a family should sacrifice one member...i would gladly be it... Why? Simply because by being under your shadows, by being your daughter i have achieved my enlightenment and the world simply needs good people like both of you. You regarded that as bullshit and nonsense. We laughed it off then... But those words were from the bottom of my heart.

I keep saying this...you made me a better person by simply living the values and not just saying them. The prove....the attendance for Asweni's and my wedding. Everyone who came...came for you and amma. You have so many people who adore you. I adore your friendship and your relationship. Acha, would you have ever spoken about a soul badly? Noo. You are always so forgiving. You have so much of love...so much of acceptance. You give respect to anyone and everyone...regardless of age and status. I just love the way you are. You are the embodiment of everything a self help book preaches. You are a manifestation of the supreme being Himself. You have had your fair share of ups and downs. But it never deterred you or put you down. You still trusted and believed and God made you very comfortable...always. You are God's secret child. I remember how we saw people who hurt you and some big positioned people in a company hurt you and eventually bankrupt...how to explain la Acha....It's because people who hurt good people always end up in a bad shape. Simple. You're a good man... a good human. I believe in God because i have seen God's magic through you.

I can't say enough. There isn't enough space and enough time to ever write everything about you. You are always growing...you are always learning, you are always loving and understanding. I don't need to ask you to stay the same. I know you will always stay the same...because you don't know how to show off...you don't know how to hurt others and you don't know how to pretend. You are you...you are real. I love you for that. I look up to you each and every day. I pray everyone has a father like you. I thank God for such wonderful parents. I thank God for you Acha. I do. You understand my face, my reactions....you know when i am fine...when i am not....you are my hero...my everything.....I am not only lucky but i am blessed....to have been able to share the same space and time...not as a father but as human...sharing the same time zone...As a daughter...needless to say... I know God loves me because he sent me to you... Simple.

I would like to thank a few people here....who mean a lot to my dad...

The whole Kemaman gang.... Tioxide gang... ...Amma's side cousins...from Ipoh..from KL....Acha's Chechi's and her sisters and their family...Amma and Acha's siblings....Each and everyone who works with acha and still remembers him...his words and his work....If i don't mention all names i am sorry....but i just wanted all of you to know how much all of you mean to my dad...He is a very emotional man... he was so happy to see all of you at the wedding as well...it means a lot to him...and when it does mean a lot to him...it means the world to me. We appreciate it.

I love you Acha...always and forever. You know your girls adore you... Always and forever. You know amma can scream at the top of her lungs and we will still eat ice cream... but if you go as far as even looking at us intensely for a few seconds...we cry... That is the command you have on us Acha... I hope i make you proud...I'm sorry for all the pain and hurt i have caused before...Thank you for allowing me to make them...Thank you for holding my hands afterwards and saying it's ok. You are my angel and my guide. I love you....

Your molea....your daughter.... Ash, Khesh and Sandhu jangan jealous.... He loves me more....Muahahahaha!!!! Nolah... just kiding.....

Asweni Baskaran, My sister

I was thinking of what to write this time and i just thought that i would dedicate this blog to my sister. Asweni, hmmmm what can i say. I do not remember much about you from childhood, i was a child too remember. I do remember you having extremely curly hair and being really chubby. I never thought of you of a competition or that you were getting more attention than me because our parents were wonderful at that but i do know that i was hyper and you were less hyper than me. I know we had many pictures of you from childhood and they were mostly with you looking funny. We always had a good laugh looking at it. But most of your pictures were always pretty.

Fast forward to many years down the road and i remember us fighting most of the time, over what i hardly remember but i know they were trivial matters and that that was pretty much a common scene in many household. I do remember how much of beating i used to get because of you. I used to hate you for that. Coming to think of all that now, it's just so funny. Schooling days, i was too busy and you were too. I can't say i was looking out for you all the time and i can't say that i was a trophy sister. However, i am your sister. I have always been proud of your achievements. I was almost constantly amazed at how distinctly different you were as compared to me. I was ultra modern and you wouldn't even wear sleeveless. Haha. The way you would hit the table and go one round in laughter...always cracked me . 

You were more feminine and more soft spoken but never to be mistaken as a weak person. You are so strong, i can only wonder how you managed single handed-ly whenever your car broke down, when someone broke your window and whenever you went to the mechanic alone. You had your own ideas and thoughts, you had your own way of handling things (crying mostly)...Haha...and you were so stubborn. It was either your way or no way. You were a perfectionist and a rule follower. I was one to break the rules. I was the emotional one. I cry too only if i'm sad. But never when i'm angry. I let it out...I fight. You were more quiet in that sense. You spoke when you needed to make a point. It was always easier for you to earn a good name from others. You are such a sensible young woman and you are such an amazing friend. You are the kind of friend that parents would want their kids to have.

We entered college together and what a blessing it was to have you by my side. During this time i did look out for you a lot. I never approved of all of your decisions, but i allowed you to make them anyways. That was the only way you would learn. In life, my road has always been bumpy and filled with pot holes. I have never regretted all those experiences because it definitely validated my "driver's license". I was a better and wiser driver. I'm glad your road was almost like a highway. I thank God for all those experiences because you could see me go through it and learn. I wouldn't want anyone go through what i have gone through...let alone my own sisters. All of you are too precious. I was so happy you graduated earlier and went on to do Masters earlier. It never bothered me. I was always so proud of you... Congrats on your published paper as well. I was beaming with pride. All of us were...in our own way :)

I have also been gifted to have you stay together with me even after marriage. How many people have that opportunity? Not many. Thanks to my very accommodating husband. You have been there at important phases of my life. You have helped me a lot....during pregnancy. Took me for check ups. I loved having you around. Thank God i no longer am in Shah Alam. Imagine the torture of having to see you pack and leave.  It was you who drove me home after both my deliveries. You brought both your nephew and niece home. You loved both my kids like yours. What wonderful bond you have with them. Such an amazing "cheriamma" you are. I sincerely wish that i get to be there for you at important times in your life too. Can't wait to see have kids of your own.

Your big day is approaching and i cannot tell you how very happy i am for you. You will make a very beautiful bride. You have found someone who loves you immensely and i am glad for you. You are marrying into a wonderful family and they are indeed very lucky to have you. You have always been the pride of our family. We love you a lot. Words fail me sometimes. I am getting chocked up. I'm sorry i will be missing two "nallangus". It's work and i'm sure you understand how it is...right "strict officer?" Whatever said and done, i may not always be there physically, but i am always there with you through prayers and thoughts. I pray for your happiness in this beautiful journey together with Devin. I can't wait to be there and participate....

Asweni, let me tell you one thing, marriage may change your house address and your status, but it will never change our bond and love. I will always be your sister....your chechi. And i will always look out for you. I love you. We love you. Here's to a new beginning and a new chapter in your life. Cheers!!

Love, Chechi <3

P/S: Kheeshaa and Sandhiya...i will dedicate a blog to the both of you too....in time. Khesh your's will be expensive and Sandhu, your's....emotional....LOL. I'm sure you know what i mean. Haha

Miracles

My previous blog was for teacher's day. That was so long ago. I initially thought that i would be blogging everyday. It's more of a dream now since i don't get that much of time for myself let alone use it to blog. I can now relate to how everyone says they hardly have the time to do anything at all. It must have been that long ago since i actually watched a movie in the cinema. I used to at least go to temple whenever i have the chance but now, that is also so difficult. However, that is something i am not worried about because i couldn't bring myself to God so i brought God to where i was. I gave Him a place at my desk where He sits very comfortably looking at me. I have gotten to a point where i no longer need to seek...I just have to merely think and He shows me signs that He is there...and He knows.

For example, two days ago, i got into my acha's car and was driving to work. I love my drives to work because it's my space and time. I love to listen to songs and just sometimes travel silently. However, since it was acha's car, i had no idea what he was listening to everyday or which channel his radio was tuned to. As i was on the way to work, the thought of Lord Thirupathi and Lord Shiva crossed me. And i was so overwhelmed to think of how blessed i actually was to have everything go well and just the way i wanted it too. I was smiling to myself feeling content and blessed. After feeling grateful and blessed, i turned the radio on and what played was this sacred chant of "kurai ondrum illai, malai muga kanna....govinda govinda govinda" something like that. As i said the words "govinda govinda govinda"...i actually chocked as my eyes swelled with tears. How could this be? How much of love does He have for me? I just have to think and He comes to me...I was in tears and i was speechless....

I don't know how and when i established this relationship with God, but i got to an understanding that i have passed the stage where i had to reach and call out hard enough...That new understanding of that love and relationship i have with Him made me realise how very lucky i am. Every single time i thank God and feel grateful to Him, i know i am there...getting closer to Him. The very essence of life is to understand that there is no you, there is just Him making it all happen through you and everyone else. I see His beautiful manifestations in everything. Sometimes, i feel i am mad. Like the other day, i felt that my office room was dirty. I didn't know whether this new building had already assigned contract workers to clean staff's room. And i hear a knock on my door. I open and this Malay kakak was smiling at me and she said, "nak bersihkan bilik, ada sampah tak?" I must have looked at her with my jaw down that she smiled and said, "lain kali kotor panggil saje kakak, kakak datang bersihkan". I looked at her....i saw God in her. I smiled and said "terima kasih kak". 

Someone blessed me recently, saying "after knowing me my dear Shas, you would realise that your problems will slowly reduce and you will feel much more peaceful. I have that ability to absorb people's sadness and pain." A well wisher and a friend. I never took it seriously but now i know and for sure..what he said was true enough. Thank you. I also see him as a manifestation...God must have sent me His angel to look after me. This feeling, is something that i can't explain. There are no words for me to explain it. But it is a feeling, a relationship that i want everyone to establish with God. Nothing beats it. Lovers will think being in love is the best feeling, mothers will feel being a mother is the best feeling in the whole world but this feeling beats it all flat. This is a one of a kind feeling. A sense of comfort, a certain closeness to an entity which can't be named but only praised. I feel a compulsion to spread His kindness and love. 

The only criteria to get close to Him is love Him and trust Him. Believe and have faith in Him and in His decisions. Always know that it was never You...it was and will always be Him. Because He wanted it that way and not you. If you can do that, then you are there. You can't just say i believe in God but then always go to Him and question Him. "Why am i going through this? What did i do to deserve this?" Isn't that doubt? Aren't you doubting Him? I have been trying to explain this to my cousin and to my friends. I think they are seeing much difference in their lives by just believing and accepting His decisions. I am truly happy for them. 

I just want to do it right. I want to share and let everyone see the magic. No amount of money or success would account for it. I am happy where i am. However, i am made for more. I have always pushed my boundaries and i will. With His blessings. I will. I also can't hide the fact that my heart is constantly going back and forth to India. To the land of the Gods. August can't come soon enough :)

P/S: Lord Shiva, You know i love You and You know after Lord Thirupathi's song it was Your song which came right up and i know You were jealous and You are extremely possessive of me but i have never put one above the other. I love You too...so much!! Shambhunath!!

Thank you Teachers :)

In conjunction to Teacher's Day, i wanted to write something but again...It took me sometime to actually go back through time and look at all those people who have made me who i am today. I couldn't just place a name or two. However, i must start somewhere. I would like to wish a very belated Teacher's Day to all my primary, secondary and college teachers/lecturers. Without all of you who have lifted me up and passed down all your knowledge and wisdom,i wouldn't be where i am today so i thank you from the bottom of my heart.
All the teachers from SR Sultan Ismail, SM Sultan Ismail 2, SMK Tg Panglima Perang Tg Muhammad...I enjoyed school life so much that i learned very quickly, it was going to be the most carefree times of my life. You made me strong, you made me realise how important education was. I stayed back and thought what a fabulous way to spend time studying and "lepaking" :) Thank God for the no "gadget" era...Thank God i was able to experience it and thank you teachers for making my school life so colourful. Thanks to Karla, Faten and Simren...i learnt about friendship because of the three of you. 23 years and going... I learnt that race and religion has got nothing to do with friendship because of you girls <3

Thanks Halimaton Saadiah for giving me tough competition for the numero uno position! Not only were we the top students but we always taught each other. What a combo. You taught me that you can still be the best by teaching and helping others. Thank you Ho Chi Mei and Vimala for all the times :) Thank you Shangkersegar (husband) for teaching me at that time itself what it meant to be in a relationship. I was just 14 and you 17. You introduced the subject of love to a girl from Kemaman who didn't know this thing existed. Unconditional love which i am very lucky to have gotten back after 9 years of no contact. You went on to becoming one of the great teachers for life lessons. Thank you.

I went to UTM for a while. I'd like to thank my course mates back then for showing me reality...although it suck big time, it made me grow. I'm a better person because of all that. Thank you Sharmila Devi (Shemmi), bestie for teaching me what it meant by "sticking through thick and thin". Thank you seniors, faculty seniors, college seniors, hometown seniors...never knew there were these many segregation. Thanks for all the lessons on life. Thanks to some very wonderful people whom i have met there...who have been there at some point of my life ...you have taught me that there is always a little hope even at the lowest moments of your life. Can't name all but Punitha, Visu, Vino, Vanathi, Sai, Venesa, Shasheela akka, Ghans, Anne, Theva, Dash akka, Doreen akka, Arvin, Ainesh, Nara, Faizal, Vig, Aruneswaran, Prithee, Mano...thank you for all the times :) Thank you for embracing me and accepting me at times when i never thought much of myself. You taught me how to be a good friend, how to embrace and accept others. Thank you UTM for teaching me what life is and how tough it is... Thank you for throwing me into tough moments and also teaching me how to become tougher in the process.

Then the best part of my life... MSU!! Thank you to all my lecturers in the English department...ALL OF YOU made me who i am today...literally! Thank you Prof Jay for teaching me feminism along with sociology,  thank you Ms Yas for teaching me that you can always be cute and also strict with students, Thank you Mdm Nirmala for teaching me that being an expert at the subject matter is important, Thank you Mdm Malar Selvi for being my amma...for all the times you accepted our gang's flaws and loved us anyway, Thank you Dr PK for teaching me speed in delivery of subject matter is important...hahaha....Thank you Mdm Jasmina for teaching me Structure of English....and simplicity, Thank you Mdm Saadiah, Mr Armaan, Thank you Ms Sugantini for making me learn and love theater, Thank you Ms Roges for making me realise the perks of becoming a young lecturer, Thank you Ms Shima for teaching me how to appreciate literature and also how to give credit wherever and whenever its due, you're beautiful!! Thank you Ms Gayatri for being the best supervisor a student can get....Thanks Mdm Shabina and Mdm Izlin...i got to know all of you late but thank you nonetheless. Thank you Reanuga, Redza, Aman, Naiza, Sam, Along, Nik, Irfan, Lyne, Grace, Sab, Megha, Angel, Sashi, Vinod, Nawa, All my TESL coursemates who brought a whole new meaning to the word "chechi"...Thank you for the love and support during my pregnancy...All your love has made me pass it on...The biggest gift to me is all of you...Thank you MSU for giving me all that! <3

Next...SEGi...where i worked...I learnt what to be and what not to be from my ex boss...Thanks V for teaching me how not to be... both as a person and as a boss. Never met someone so low and cheap like you. Thank you for the lessons. Grace Antony, i owe you everything. I got a job in SEGi because of you...because you told that you have a friend better than yourself looking for a job... Such a selfless act, i have never ever witnessed. And for that, you became a huge teacher to me of what best friends are like...how friends are supposed to be :) Thank you Gowri...The most honest and sincere friend...Ms Mohgana, the epitome of organization...In, Natrah, Bawani, Ms Dorville, Vijay, Puteri, Vedha, Kehma, Aun Joo, Grace.....Thank you for teaching me the value of colleagues. To all my beautiful and amazing students, Thank you for teaching me self discovery...i learnt a lot from each batch and i love all of you immensely. I knew i was born to do this. Thank you SEGi.

To all my Kemaman uncles and aunties... Uncle Bani, Uncle Rama K, Uncle Nadaraja, Uncle Ramesh, Uncle Sathiya....Uncle Achu...Aunty Sumathi, Kalies and Kanages and all the family members...your wives (my ammas) and kids....Thank you for teaching me that family isn't always blood related... True friendship...a bond as strong as family is possible... I have experienced it first hand and i'm glad i have learnt all those values...I Have Learnt... Thank you. Thank you Dhina, Siva, Hari, Rajesh,  Thank you Priya ma, Thank you Vinotha, Thank you Ganesha, Thank you Mags, Thanks Firah, Thank you Kevin, Thank you Isai, Thank you Dr Tam, Dr. Sri, and Zye, ...All my tuition students and their family!! Thank you all for being my extended family members.

Mom and Dad, my Oxford, my Webster, my Google...my source of knowledge...my teachers from day one...Thank you!! My sisters...thank you for teaching me so many things and that difference among siblings can't keep us apart. Thank you Akshayan, my son, Yookthana and Jaasritha, my daughters for teaching me that i can do all these and more...Thank you for showing me how strong women are. Thank you Yookthana for teaching me that woman are born multi taskers and that we are so great we don't even know it. Thank you to all the wonderful teachers around me...always teaching me something. Thank you God for giving me the wisdom and ability to look at everything positively and to look at every situation and every person that crosses our path as teachers....

Thank you to everyone who has crossed my path and taught me a valuable lesson which has enriched my life. I will carry all of you in my heart forever!

Maatha (Mum), Pitha (Dad), Guru (Teacher), Deivam (God)...We have always placed teachers above God and hence, i take this as a chance to appreciate all of you <3

Thank you teachers :)