In the Spirit of Deepavali

"I do not understand the work of God 

but i admire  the beauty of His creation.......

I do not necessarily agree with His screenplay

But i admire His passion for writing...

I do not like His fondness for simple twists of fate

But i trust His motivation in story-telling.... 

I do not always comprehend the circumstances that

His characters go through,

But i believe in His direction...

I anticipate His climax because i believe

He always has an underlying message of

Love, Hope and Life ......."

Just thought i would start my blog this time with a thought... It is has been a nagging issue which i couldn't just put it away. So, here goes. I noticed that "we" (Indians) do not wish each other when we meet one another at temple on Deepavali morning. We only wish those we already know and befriend prior to Deepavali... those who are friends and acquaintances. But Deepavali is one such occasion that requires no introduction or bond between two people in order to wish one another. Why do we not wish one another? We are the same kind, we are the same race, we share the same religion....In the house of God, we are family. It is funny how we ignore our own brothers and sisters in the house of God. And you are there to seek blessings? You wish the world for Deepavali on Facebook or Instagram, but in person, you just ignore the person in front of you . That tickles my funny bones. Anyways...Deepavali....

Deepavali to me went through so many faces throughout my life. When i was a child, Deepavali was something we looked forward to. We alternated each year between my dad's side or my mom's side. Wherever we were going, it was sure to be fun. Going back to Ipoh, my hometown was always fun. Being the eldest grandchild and certainly the most naughtiest and talk-a-tive one had lots of perks. Everyone in the family knew me better because i spent 7 years there, growing with them. Mom's side was always, noise, fun, music, food...(loads of it) and visitors. Mom's side was huge. My mom's immediate family was small but her extended family....I don't want to get started. I love it. So many houses to visit, so many hugs, so much love and so much "angpow" and needless to say so much fun. 

Decoration in my uncle's house was massive. All the Deepavali cards would be hung in patterns and shapes. Lights and beautiful "kolams" would fill our porch. My Uncle Muthu and Aunty Kogi were awesome like that. They always kept the tradition alive. Deepavali morning, prayers would be offered and our heads would be oiled. Everything followed the Deepavali rituals. We would then go to temple and come home to a scrumptious meal. When grand dad was alive, it was a different scenario altogether. It was "1 Malaysia". We would have like the whole neighbourhood at our house. My grand dad was a respected Hospital Assistant (HA) and was very good at what he does. He used to treat people from home. Those people became his loyal fans. We would have so many gifts coming in, so many fruits and cakes. We also used to practice giving our friends from other religion cookies and biscuits and our containers would be filled with sugar and returned. I never understood that practice but i loved the gesture. That stuck with me till now. We would have a blast with songs, movies and dancing.

My uncle's house wasn't a huge bungalow, but i loved it. It is where my grandparents lived. Every wall had their touch and every room held its own memories. My grand dad passed away in that very same house and our Deepavali changed forever. Years after he passed on, we still celebrated there, but it was different. We still had everything in tact except my grand dad and visitors. We had friends coming over but still...it was very different. However, the love between close friends and extended family and relatives remained. 

On the other hand, Deepavali at my dad's side was completely different. It would always be a getaway somewhere, a gathering at someone's house or a holiday. All of my dad's brothers and sisters and my cousins would book a bungalow and go celebrate there. We would also go to either one of dad's brother or sister's house or my house to celebrate. It was a different kind of fun. Food was always a galore but if it was in Kelantan, then it would be a beautiful Kelantanese Malay breakfast and a nice Indian lunch. It was different. We would go to the one temple in Tumpat which was just behind where my dad's whole family stayed and grew. We felt like we owned that temple. It was nice. Then we would go home to board games and our own "special" game like "baling selipar"(throw the slippers)....hahaha....sounds so hilarious but yeah. Our parents would start the "Ginrummy" (card game) sessions and go on till early next morning. We kids took care of our entertainment and there was this beautiful bond between us cousins. We used to laugh and make jokes. My dad's elder brother was also the head of events. He would have planned beautiful activities even before we got there. There would be dance performances, Parents versus children Dumb Charade, song continuation games, "Buzz" and so much more. He was so creative and we used to be so competitive. It thought us a lot. It was nice and it was different. 

This all changed when we grew. We still got together but some cousins would not come or... they had their own life, let us put it that way. We grew to have our own set of friends and our own "interesting" lives. We grew apart. My family and i, we were always together. Dad never tolerated being away during important functions. Neither did we ever want to. We loved being around family. With my maternal grand dad's passing, i realised that moments don't come back again. Once they are gone, it is gone forever. With my maternal grandma's passing, it was literally more essential that my mom's immediate family stick together. That is all they had to call family. I cherish being with my aunt and uncles. Sometimes it will only be us and the older people but we enjoyed regardless because in the end we were there because we wanted to be with family. I am so thankful to my dad and mom for instilling that beautiful quality in us. 

My dad's side witnessed two untimely deaths due to cancer. My dad lost his eldest and his youngest sister. That changed almost everything for us. My dad's side was no longer perfect. We all felt it. Everyone suffered silently. Soon, the realisation that everything is temporary probably hit rock bottom for many. Eventually, no gatherings were planned or it brought about very less "participation". Well, i realised that we overgrew the tradition and now everyone has adopted the idea that "everyone has their own life, they are probably busy" and so on.  As my acha always says, family first and nothing is more important than that. So, if they have no time, whenever we are in the area...we make time and visit them. Simple. 

I completely agree. I mean we have friends and yes i agree some friends cross the borders of friendship and become family but lineage and blood relatives....they are so important. Thank God we still have that coming together at my mom's side. I don't ever want to outgrow it. I would love for all my cousins, mom or dad's side to always be together. In the end, we are what matters. We will always be there because blood is always thicker than water and we carry our family names. I do not want my children to not know what family, cousins and relatives mean. What staying together means....what fun means..Some of my fondest memories are of my times spent with family during gatherings.

Deepavali these days are within family. For me, after marriage, it alternates... between my house or my in laws place. I like celebrating at both places. I love my in laws. As traditional as they are, they also know how to enjoy and have fun. The most important thing is, they also value relationships. At least my kids have cousins over at that side and i never want to take that away from them. That is a bonding i enjoyed and made my childhood so rich and colourful. I want to give them that as well. Deepavali for me now is new clothes, morning temple, good food, family get together, family time, family card games, family laughter and reminiscing the good old times. Makes me believe that there is still hope. I can't wait for my sisters to get married and have kids...(Asweni and Devin...faster can or not)... I want the house to be packed with all of us!! 

In the light of Deepavali, let us all spread love and revive old connections.

After all, Deepavali means new hope, new direction and new era. As much as technology eases our life, it also takes the life out of us. Let us teach our children culture and the importance of family. Let us cultivate and bring back old tradition of visiting one another. I do not want our lamp of tradition and culture to die. **Hugs**