That morning, all the people who attended the wedding... I saw them in a different light. People from as far as Penang and Kemaman.... Took all the trouble to be there on a Sunday. It really meant a lot to us as a family. Considering that some gave plenty of reasons to show inconvenience and hence the probability of them not showing up. Oh whatever.... really. I feel a need ...a special need to thank all those who were there... You know who you are :) And i know all of you came because you respected and loved your friend...your brother.... My dad.... My Acha... Baskaran....
My acha.......hmmm....where do i start? I really have no idea... Acha, is the person whom i owe everything i have and everything i am to....LITERALLY... It is because of him and his teachings that we are the way we are today. If anyone says anything nice about us sisters and about us as a family, it is because of him. As a child, i remember how Acha used to tell us stories of his childhood and how he studied despite of his family situation. I remember how Acha used to tell us that he used to carry his shoes in a plastic bag and walk across the paddy fields just to get to school. Then he would wash his legs and dry them and wear his school shoes and go to class. We or at least i used to think back then that it's the same story every parents tell their kids so that they study hard and don't play around too much.
As i got older...as i grew, i realised i had taken each and every story of his to heart. I respected where he came from, i admired his perseverance, i looked up to his achievements and i felt so proud of his humble beginnings and a need to share his stories till date. A small boy from Kelantan, a smart boy who loved to read and learn. How he went to live in Kota Bharu town with his principal's family because they thought he had so much of potential. How he finished his form 6 and how his brother helped him to fill his University entrance forms and how he got into second year direct in University Malaya. Oh how i love your success story Acha. Until 5 days back when i saw your resume... I thought i was looking at a thesis!! My goodness....I have more stories to tell.
I grew up hearing all that, but i never felt the pressure to fill those shoes. From a very young age you gave us so much freedom to be ourselves. You got a job real quick and from then on...it has only been uphill for you. I took a lot from you as a student. Although my studying style was different when compared. You're an early bird....whereas i'm a nocturnal. You knew that and although amma would shout as to why i wasn't studying, you would support me and say i will study when everyone has slept. You had such deep understanding of us..your kids. You gave us everything...fed us everything.... Your random treats and shopping spree... You never thought us how to splurge but you thought us how to enjoy the little things in life. You also thought us how to save money...20% of any amount of money we receive will go to you. How angry we got sometimes...but when i got married and you gave me the bank book... it looked so brown but i knew it was the 20% you took from us.
Acha, you always say you are not perfect...there are so many things you need to learn....Let me tell you, i don't know anything or anyone as perfect as you. You have shared so many things with me privately...and it shows how very much you think of me....I remember during some teenage problems i had... (I wasn't very easy to handle...sorry), amma told me... "if my husband gets a heart attack, it will be because of you". I know she didn't mean it...she is always emotional when it comes to you.... but i knew something very deep then, that i affected you so much. But how calmly you handled me...my problems....my insecurities. I just love you acha...When i left UTM...such a blow for you and everyone... but you allowed me to... you told me, if your heart isn't there then there is no use of you wasting time. When i had relationship issues, you weren't harsh...you were as gentle as a feather because i remember you told me...i'm fragile ...and that i will grow out of it and i will understand soon....
Then and there acha... I knew, my mission in life was to make you proud. Thanks to amma, who registered me in MSU to do TESL...her forward thinking... (Let me credit her for that here in public....haha) I only wanted to make you proud. I am glad...i did....I am glad with every Dean's list and President's List.... With the first Class degree... when i got pregnant immediately after marriage... I made a promise to myself...however hard it was going to be...i would finish this degree on time. I personally requested for a C-section so that i can be on time for my final...final exams. I did it because i didn't want you to again be let down. I am so proud i did it and graduated on time...despite the fact that i had a child. But then again...you believed in me. You never questioned me... that's the beauty of you Acha... Not many are lucky to have such a friendly...loving father.
Then i became a lecturer....i did so many things in such a short time... Then i wanted to make you more proud...I got myself into UM and till date my Masters is in first class CGPA....i somehow feel the need to redeem myself...not for me Acha...but for you. Only you. I will finish it....I will... soon. Then i made you a grandfather for the second time again...haha. I know how much you adore my kids....i can only imagine how very lucky they are to have such a sentimental and loving grandfather. We as a family are blessed to have you Acha. You have so much going for you...you have so much to scream about...yet you are so silent...so humble and so down to earth. You are so real. So philosophical. I am truly blessed to have you and amma as my parents. I remember i told this once...if the world population increased and it came to a point that a family should sacrifice one member...i would gladly be it... Why? Simply because by being under your shadows, by being your daughter i have achieved my enlightenment and the world simply needs good people like both of you. You regarded that as bullshit and nonsense. We laughed it off then... But those words were from the bottom of my heart.
I keep saying this...you made me a better person by simply living the values and not just saying them. The prove....the attendance for Asweni's and my wedding. Everyone who came...came for you and amma. You have so many people who adore you. I adore your friendship and your relationship. Acha, would you have ever spoken about a soul badly? Noo. You are always so forgiving. You have so much of love...so much of acceptance. You give respect to anyone and everyone...regardless of age and status. I just love the way you are. You are the embodiment of everything a self help book preaches. You are a manifestation of the supreme being Himself. You have had your fair share of ups and downs. But it never deterred you or put you down. You still trusted and believed and God made you very comfortable...always. You are God's secret child. I remember how we saw people who hurt you and some big positioned people in a company hurt you and eventually bankrupt...how to explain la Acha....It's because people who hurt good people always end up in a bad shape. Simple. You're a good man... a good human. I believe in God because i have seen God's magic through you.
I can't say enough. There isn't enough space and enough time to ever write everything about you. You are always growing...you are always learning, you are always loving and understanding. I don't need to ask you to stay the same. I know you will always stay the same...because you don't know how to show off...you don't know how to hurt others and you don't know how to pretend. You are you...you are real. I love you for that. I look up to you each and every day. I pray everyone has a father like you. I thank God for such wonderful parents. I thank God for you Acha. I do. You understand my face, my reactions....you know when i am fine...when i am not....you are my hero...my everything.....I am not only lucky but i am blessed....to have been able to share the same space and time...not as a father but as human...sharing the same time zone...As a daughter...needless to say... I know God loves me because he sent me to you... Simple.
I would like to thank a few people here....who mean a lot to my dad...
The whole Kemaman gang.... Tioxide gang... ...Amma's side cousins...from Ipoh..from KL....Acha's Chechi's and her sisters and their family...Amma and Acha's siblings....Each and everyone who works with acha and still remembers him...his words and his work....If i don't mention all names i am sorry....but i just wanted all of you to know how much all of you mean to my dad...He is a very emotional man... he was so happy to see all of you at the wedding as well...it means a lot to him...and when it does mean a lot to him...it means the world to me. We appreciate it.
I love you Acha...always and forever. You know your girls adore you... Always and forever. You know amma can scream at the top of her lungs and we will still eat ice cream... but if you go as far as even looking at us intensely for a few seconds...we cry... That is the command you have on us Acha... I hope i make you proud...I'm sorry for all the pain and hurt i have caused before...Thank you for allowing me to make them...Thank you for holding my hands afterwards and saying it's ok. You are my angel and my guide. I love you....
Your molea....your daughter.... Ash, Khesh and Sandhu jangan jealous.... He loves me more....Muahahahaha!!!! Nolah... just kiding.....
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